How to Live
by AlyssaGrayy
Summary: "I can s-show you how to live, I can save you. It's the truth so you're going to believe me. And you're not going to kill me." Hinata stuttered. Gaara had never had a friend. He had never gone rollerskating or played at a jungle-gym. He had never even tried cheesecake. But Hinata wasn't afraid of him, and she could show him how to live.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: i do not own this idea, naruto, or any of the characters

also i just got a leaf village forehead protector in the mail and i'm so excited i love it.

"Gaara!"

Gaara flinched, he had gotten so caught up in the darkness, in the anger, in the pain and the bloodlust that he had forgotten to be alert. He hardly ever had to worry about watching his back because the sand was always there to protect him automatically. But this voice wasn't attacking him, even though he was currently murdering a random innocent woman who reminded him too much of his mother.

"Gaara stop it!"

He ignored the voice. It's not like they were a threat. But the voice…a woman's…it sounded concerned, but oddly the concern seemed not to be for the dying woman. _No, that's ridiculous_. Gaara shook his head to clear the silly thoughts. It's just wishful thinking. Some small trace of weak humanity that would be crushed along with the woman. Gaara narrowed his eyes and began to tighten his hand, and the hold the sand had around the woman.

"Oof!" Something slammed into Gaara, and in his shock he opened his palm, releasing the hold his sand had on the woman. She fell to the ground, unconscious.

_Why hadn't the sand stopped the girl? _He had determined it to be the person who had been shouting, since thin arms were now wrapped around his torso. _Because she wasn't trying to harm him._ The sand stopped attacks, but not…hugs. Apparently. Gaara had never been hugged before, and this wasn't exactly right either but it was as close as he had ever gotten to an embrace from another human being. Once when he was a child he had tried to imitate a couple he had seen hugging, but when he tried the little girl struggled and Gaara had squeezed too hard, and she had died in his arms.

Gaara tried to turn and catch a glimpse of the girl embracing him, but all he saw was a wisp of long black hair.

"Please…don't do this!" The girl whispered into his ear.

Gaara shot his arm out, breaking the girl's grip on him. He turned and slammed his palm into her chest and she flew back and slammed into the side of a shop. The shop was closed and no one was around, since it was about 3am and not many were foolish enough to wander about Konoha at night. It was a relatively safe village, but with the chuunin exams in a few days and strange ninja around everyone's guard was up. Now Gaara could get a good look at the girl, a small one with a leaf village headband. She had to be the most fragile-looking ninja he had ever seen. A smile grew on his lips. She'd be fun to break in two.

The girl trembled as Gaara stepped over closer to her. She was afraid. She should be. But then the girl slowly raised a shaking arm, holding her hand out to him, as if asking him to help her up. What was she doing? She should have been shying away, cowering against the wall, desperately trying in vain to escape him and get as far away as possible. But even now as he walked closer and closer still with a terrifying expression on his face, her fear appeared to be more like concern.

"Are you afraid?" Gaara asked with his most frightening smile. If she wasn't before she would be after that. He sent some of his sand at her to slither over her body and make her shiver.

But the girl didn't falter, didn't even flinch.

"Why do you do this?" She asked, so quietly he almost couldn't hear her. But she didn't sound curious, she sounded like she already knew the answer but simply wanted to hear him say it.

"To confirm my existence. That is my purpose in life, I must kill. Even though you are weak and will not satisfy my bloodlust, I will kill you all the same for daring to meet my gaze. And then I will kill the woman you tried to rescue and I will know what it feels like to live," Gaara answered in his most menacing voice, stepping closer still. He was only a few yards away now and he could see each silky strand of hair that fell in her pale face, some of them coated in blood that was streaming from the back of her head where she had hit the wall.

"That's not living"

Gaara's eyes narrowed, "You're not going to be living in a few moments either".

The girl carried on as if he had not even spoken, "You've lived a lot. You understand more than most that life is pain. But that's not all it is. You haven't experienced life as I have and the more you kill the less of a chance you have at that life."

"You're making no sense, the ravings of a woman staring death in the face," Gaara grumbled as he came to a stop in front of her, towering threateningly above her. He hand was still outstretched to him but she was weak from being thrown into the wall, and she was struggling to hold it up.

"I- I'm not raving, and you're not death. I can s-show you how to live, I can save you. It's the truth so you're going to believe me. And you're not going to kill me."

Gaara's mind reeled. She didn't make sense. He couldn't figure out what to do, because he had never been in this situation before. She wasn't afraid. She seemed more concerned with helping him than helping herself or the unconscious woman. The girl could be faking to try and confuse him and save herself, but her face was so open and pure as if she wasn't hiding anything and he could see straight into her soul if he just looked hard enough into her eyes, her deep, intense eyes…

He jerked his head away. He couldn't look at her. She left her soul so exposed that somehow it made him feel vulnerable, like she could see through his eyes too. He couldn't look at her, couldn't let her see him. He had to leave.

So he left her sitting there in the cold dark night. He left two victims alive. But he didn't let himself think about why. And Hinata only had a moment to think before falling unconscious, her trembling arm falling into her lap and her head lolling to the side.


	2. Chapter 2

disclaimer: i don't own naruto or the characters

this chapter's really short, but whatever

* * *

Gaara waited in his kitchen. He waited for the ANBU black ops to come to his door and try to arrest him. Surely Hinata must have woken up by now and told them who her attacker was. He had looked through the profiles he had of leaf village genin when he got home last night and had found her. Hyuuga Hinata. She's inherited the byakuugan, she could have used it when she grabbed onto him, but she didn't.

Stupid girl.

Gaara was buzzing inside with excitement. How many ANBU would they send? How many skilled ninja could he kill to reaffirm his existence?

His siblings had sensed his strange mood and left the house quickly and quietly that morning. They were afraid of him, just like everyone else. Gaara wondered if they would have to run out of the leaf village. All sand shinobi would likely be labeled targets. The others in the sand village would not be pleased when they heard. It would ruin their entire operation. It's not like they could do anything about him though. None of them could even touch him, except for perhaps Orochimaru. It would not have been a problem if he had done as he always did, and left no witnesses. Killed them all.

He should have killed her last night. He should have killed her when he snuck into the hospital that morning and killed the woman who looked like his mother. He should go and kill her now.

Gaara got up from the table and began to make toast.

Hinata munched on the crappy hospital breakfast. The toast was burnt and the eggs were rubbery. Her taste buds were spoiled from the delicious meals she usually prepared at home. She had told the doctors that she had been walking through town when she was suddenly slammed into the wall and passed out before she could see who had done it. She lied to protect him.

It was ridiculous, she didn't even know him. And he was psychotic. But he was sad. She could see it in his eyes. He was so sad, it nearly broke her heart. The boy had the same eyes as Naruto. Except Naruto didn't need her. This boy…he needed her. Hinata couldn't figure out why, or how she knew, but she knew he needed her all the same. So she lied to the doctors and ate her burnt toast in silence.


	3. Chapter 3

"Hinata, are you sure you still want to compete in the Chuunin exams? You're injured. Just try again in six months there's no reason to risk it," Kiba said, stepping in front of Hinata and blocking her way into the arena.

"A ninja does not back down from a mission," Hinata said, sounding uncharacteristically sure of herself. "If come this far," she added quietly. Then she stepped around Kiba.

Though she didn't want to show it, Hinata was terrified. She had no idea who her opponent would be and there were so many people watching. The HoKage, the other leaf village genin, her sister, her father…And what if her opponent was Neji? There's no way she could beat him. Or Naruto? She couldn't battle Naruto or Kiba. She'd forfeit if she had to. She had beaten Shino in the preliminaries so that left Ten-ten, Temari, Kankurou, Sasuke, Neji, Gaara, Naruto, Kiba, and Shikamaru. Hinata knew she didn't stand a chance against Gaara, Sasuke, or Naruto, but all she needed was to win one or two rounds and impress whoever it was that decided which genin to make chuunin.

Hinata walked into the center of the arena and tried not to blush or look down as hundreds of judging eyes turned to her and the others. She glanced at Gaara instead, but he was staring straight forward, expressionless.

Gaara watched Hinata with the third eye. For some reason she hadn't told anyone, even Kiba, the truth about two nights ago. And now she was watching Gaara. This girl didn't make any sense. Gaara narrowed his eyes in frustration and confusion.

Once Naruto finally stumbled into the arena, the genin made their way up into the stands to watch Naruto and Temari's match. Gaara was too distracted to pay any attention, and neither of them mattered to him anyway. But that Hinata girl was gripping the railing so hard her knuckles were while and the metal bent slightly. When she let go there would be an imprint of her fingers on the bar. Her eyes were wide, her forehead wrinkled in concern, and yet she didn't make a sound. When Naruto finally won after a dramatic show of his irritating persistence and stamina, Hinata let out a sigh of relief, and offered Naruto a healing ointment when he came up the steps. Naruto stared at her rudely, and didn't even thank her until a jounin sensei prompted him to. Gaara wondered why Hinata cared so much for the dense, knuckle-headed spaz.

"Hinata"

Hinata looked up at Naruto, surprised and excited that he had said her name.

"Be careful. You were attacked the other night in the same place as that other woman, and probably by the same person. The assailant probably killed her to cover up his or her tracks, which means you could be in danger.

"What?!" Hinata choked, "She was…killed?" Hinata asked shakily.

"Yeah, so be careful okay?" Naruto replied, oblivious. Hinata nodded, and when Naruto turned she whirled around to look at Gaara in disbelief and anger. He looked ahead at the arena, his attention seemingly focused on the pairing for the next round.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the show, Naruto

Also I am not being entirely true to the show, as you can tell by how I've switched up the bracket for the Chuunin exams and the preliminary results. Also I've changed the characters to 16 and 17 years old because yeah.

* * *

"Next match- Kiba vs Gaara!"

Hinata did the clone jutsu, so that no one would notice as she silently darted from the stands, and made her way to the bottom of the stairs, which joined with the stairs leading from Gaara's section of the stands.

Gaara made his way down the stairs slowly, and got rid of the third eye. He did not want to look at Hinata anymore.

Gaara's fist clenched and he stopped in his tracks. Hinata was waiting, arms crossed and stiff still, at the bottom of the stairs for him, just out of eyesight of everyone else. And she looked positively furious.

Neither said anything, but Hinata's glare said enough. She held Gaara's gaze without flinching, and Gaara almost felt the need to look away himself, but he didn't.

"What?" Gaara asked, irritated. Hinata just continued to glare at him. The silence dragged on, and Gaara began to feel uncomfortable. His eyes narrowed in frustration.

"You're in my way"

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Hinata suddenly burst out, uncrossing her arms and taking a step towards Gaara, "Am I blocking the door? Inconveniencing you? I seem to have a pesky habit of doing that. Here, I've got an idea, stop _hurting_ people and I'll stop getting in the way of you hurting people! Dobe!"* She screamed the last word, throwing it in Gaara's face with as much venom as she could muster. For some reason she wasn't scared of Gaara. She didn't feel like her throat was closing up every time she said something, which was how she usually felt around people. Ever since Hinata was a child, every time people stared at her or asked her something or she had to speak up, her face felt hot and she got dizzy because she forgot to breathe. And even though now, stomping up the stairs away from Gaara in anger, she still trembled a little, but she had raised her voice and said what she really felt without hesitation. It was a strange sensation, and she could feel the adrenaline pumping through her.

Hinata quietly took the place of her clone, and everyone was too distracted by the coming match to notice. They probably wouldn't have noticed anyway. The only people who seemed to notice her were Lee (who was in the hospital) and Kiba (who was about to start his match)

"Kiba…" Hinata whispered. Despite her outburst a second ago, Hinata was still scared. But not for herself, for Kiba. She knew he could handle himself, but Gaara…Gaara was ruthless. He killed that poor woman. Gaara was…

_No, he's not a monster _Hinata scolded herself silently for even beginning to think that. He is a person, and despite everything Hinata fiercely believed that people were still good at heart.** But she was still worried for Kiba. Hinata prayed silently for Kiba to be okay.

"Begin!"

*Idiot in Japanese

**Yes, this is an Anne Frank quote =)


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry I haven't updated, I've been avoiding writing this fight scene because I have no idea how to write it. So please forgive me because I'm going to skip writing most of it.

Disclaimer* I don't own characters or idea, though I wish I did. J

Gaara made his way to the center of the arena slowly, lost in thought. His slow pace made the audience suspenseful, and Kiba simultaneously nervous and impatient. Gaara took no notice, however. _This girl makes no sense. _He thought furiously. _She said she would 'show me how to live' and then she screams at me and calls me an idiot. She isn't afraid of me, but she still hates me. Just like everyone else does. Whatever, it doesn't matter. _Gaara felt anger building up inside of him, and his sand grew restless inside the gourd. Gaara did not pay attention to his opponent or the audience, they blurred around him. He just listened for the referee to call out "begin," so that he could crush something. Someone. Gaara stopped in the center of the arena. What was probably five seconds felt like an hour. His rage kept building, building. The cork popped out of his gourd with a sound that nearly echoed and soared into the air, and then fell back down into Gaara's hand. He slipped it into his pocket. A slow trail of impatient, bloodthirsty sand trickled out of his gourd and pooled around his feet, circling him.

"Begin!"

Before Kiba could move Gaara had hit him with his sand so far that he was thrown into the wall of the arena. Gaara began to walk over to the inferior genin, clenching the sand tighter with every step. Since his sand was so much a part of him, he could feel the struggles of the genin boy. Gaara laughed an evil, mad laugh that he knew scared people beyond words. He was close to the boy now, and his grip was so tight he could feel the crack of a bone. Gaara grinned, trying to guess which bone it might have been. Gaara laughed uncontrollably. He was so close to his victim now, close enough to see the light drain out of his eyes when-

Something jumped at him from the side, with impressive speed and strength. Not enough that the sand did not block it though, and it too was thrown against the wall and trapped with sand.

It was Kiba? What? Gaara's laughter vanished and his brow creased in confusion, he looked back at the first Kiba, but it had turned into a mutt!

"Kiba!" a frail, worried voice cried out from the stands as the second, real Kiba slammed against the wall. Gaara did not have to look up to know the voice belonged to Hinata.

Gaara's anger had faded with the surprise attack, confusion, and Hinata's cry, but the sand was still bloodthirsty, and difficult to control. It pulled at Gaara, demanding him to crush, to kill, to break. Gaara looked back at the real Kiba, and then at the dog. He could kill two at once, how satisfying! Well, two and a half. But something was stopping him, something was causing him to tell the sand _Wait_. Gaara no longer felt like laughing. This pathetic genin…was Hinata's friend. If Gaara killed him, she would surely hate him forever.

_She already hates you, kill the boy already! _A voice whispered to Gaara.

_But if you kill him, she will cry _Another, weaker voice whispered, so faint Gaara could almost convince himself it had not said anything at all.

The weaker voice sounded something like Hinata. The first voice sounded like a demon. Gaara blocked both Kibas' airways just long enough to cause them to pass out, and then released them before Gaara realized what he was doing. He left them alive. It took an enormous amount of strength to hold back the viscous sand, but Gaara managed it in a moment, with just the thought of that second voice. The voice that sounded like Hinata. A pathetic, mousy, insignificant girl who was not afraid of him. He turned and walked out of the arena before the referee even announced his win.


End file.
